It's party time!

In the process of packing up my old apartment and moving in to a new one, I have discovered that I have quite a large collection of party dresses. These are the types of dresses for getting dressed up in. You know, like for my birthday, weddings, nice fancy dinners, my birthday, the ballet, my birthday. Since one of these things only comes once a year, and I don't get around to many of the other things frequently enough, I have now decided to find a different more regular occasion to wear my party dresses. Chemo! Yes, I am now getting dressed up for chemo. It's perfect, I can wear strapless dresses for easy access to my port, and I'm basically sitting down all day so I don't have to worry about constantly fidgeting to keep said strapless dress in place.

If you think about it, these parties have a lot in common with my new chemo parties. My friends are often around, and everyone else in the room is putting large quantities of mind/body altering substances in their bodies, which generally produce headaches, some nausea, and tiredness the next day. Sounds just like the day after a wedding reception, or my birthday. Also, upon returning from all of these events, I am used to generally passing out face down, still in party dress, which also happens after chemo!

My doctor says I look great for just having my 5th treatment already, but I already knew that. I feel pretty good too. Chemo is designed to kill rapidly dividing cells, so that's why it goes for the cancer, but also gets your good rapidly dividing cells, thus the side effects. I have come to the conclusion that my side effects are minimal due to the heavy drinking and recreational drug experimentation I put myself through in my 20's. I've trained my healthy cells well, they know how to survive toxins.

So overall I'm doing well. I want to freeze time, right here, right like this. I know I can't go back, can't take away the cancer, I'm not being that naive or greedy. But can't I just stop time right now? Live life just like this. Stick with the chemo and not get worse. Keep the cancer I have now, and not have it grow. I'll even name my little tumors, as long as they don't grow. Maybe name them after villains from Disney Movies? Scar, Ursula, Jafar? Obviously Ursula, the lady villain, gets to be the name of my tumor on my ovary, only fitting. 

Because I'm happy right now, and tomorrow looks great, even this weekend and next week. But the further future is frightening as hell. I don't want to go there. I have learned to manage this, but I don't want anymore that this. 

Anyways, 6th chemo is in two weeks, that's the halfway point! Come by and visit if you wish, wear a party dress, or a suit gents. I'm looking into the chemo suite's byob policy.